Borderline Traits

G. Pacana

2/19/20246 min read

The term "borderline traits" refers to characteristics, behaviors, and tendencies that are commonly associated with borderline personality disorder. However, these traits are not as severe or pervasive as those exhibited by individuals who meet the full diagnostic criteria for BPD.

Borderline traits exist on a continuum, ranging from occasional or mild expressions of the traits to more frequent and intense manifestations.

Borderline traits are often used to describe behaviors and characteristics that resemble some aspects of BPD but do not meet the full criteria for a diagnosis of the disorder. Borderline traits include the following:

"Always" and "Never" Statements - "Always" and "Never" Statements are declarations containing the words "always" or "never". They are commonly used but rarely true.

Anger - People who suffer from BPD often feel a sense of unresolved anger and a heightened or exaggerated perception that they have been wronged, invalidated, neglected or abused.


Baiting - A provocative act used to solicit an angry, aggressive, or emotional response from another


Blaming - The practice of identifying a person or people responsible for creating a problem, rather than identifying ways of dealing with the problem.


Bullying - Any systematic action of hurting a person from a position of relative physical, social, economic or emotional strength.


Catastrophizing - The habit of automatically assuming a "worst case scenario" and inappropriately characterizing minor or moderate problems or issues as catastrophic events.


Cheating - Sharing a romantic or intimate relationship with somebody when you are already committed to a monogamous relationship with someone else.


Chronic Broken Promises - Repeatedly making and then breaking commitments and promises is a common trait among people who suffer from BPD.


Circular Conversations - Arguments which go on almost endlessly, repeating the same patterns with no resolution.


Confirmation Bias - The tendency to pay more attention to things which reinforce your beliefs than to things which contradict them.


Denial - Believing or imagining that some painful or traumatic circumstance, event or memory does not exist or did not happen.


Dependency - An inappropriate and chronic reliance by an adult individual on another individual for their health, subsistence, decision making or personal and emotional well-being.


Depression - People who suffer from BPD are often also diagnosed with symptoms of depression.


Dissociation- A psychological term used to describe a mental departure from reality.


Emotional Abuse - Any pattern of behavior directed at one individual by another which promotes in them a destructive sense of fear, obligation, or guilt.


Emotional Blackmail - A system of threats and punishments used to control someone’s behaviors.


Engulfment - An unhealthy and overwhelming level of attention and dependency on another person, which comes from imagining or believing one exists only within the context of that relationship.


False Accusations - Patterns of unwarranted or exaggerated criticism directed towards someone else.


Fear of Abandonment - An irrational belief that one is imminent danger of being personally rejected, discarded, or replaced.


Feelings of Emptiness - An acute, chronic sense that daily life has little worth or significance, leading to an impulsive appetite for strong physical sensations and dramatic relationship experiences.


Gaslighting - The practice of brainwashing or convincing a mentally healthy individual that they are going insane or that their understanding of reality is mistaken or false.


Harassment - Any sustained or chronic pattern of unwelcome behavior by one individual towards another.


Hoovers & Hoovering - A Hoover is a metaphor taken from the popular brand of vacuum cleaners, to describe how an abuse victim trying to assert their own rights by leaving or limiting contact in a dysfunctional relationship, gets “sucked back in” when the perpetrator temporarily exhibits improved or desirable behavior.


Hysteria - An inappropriate over-reaction to bad news or disappointments, which diverts attention away from the real problem and towards the person who is having the reaction.


Identity Disturbance - A psychological term used to describe a distorted or inconsistent self-view


Impulsiveness - The tendency to act or speak based on current feelings rather than logical reasoning.


Intimidation - Any form of veiled, hidden, indirect or non-verbal threat.


Invalidation - The creation or promotion of an environment which encourages an individual to believe that their thoughts, beliefs, values or physical presence are inferior, flawed, problematic or worthless.


Lack of Conscience - Individuals who suffer from BPD are often preoccupied with their own agendas, sometimes to the exclusion of the needs and concerns of others. This is sometimes interpreted by others as a lack of moral conscience.


Lack of Object Constancy - An inability to remember that people or objects are consistent, trustworthy, and reliable, especially when they are out of your immediate field of vision.


Low Self-Esteem - A common name for a negatively-distorted self-view which is inconsistent with reality.


Manipulation - The practice of steering an individual into a desired behavior for the purpose of achieving a hidden personal goal.


Masking - Covering up one's own natural outward appearance, mannerisms and speech in dramatic and inconsistent ways depending on the situation.


Mirroring - Imitating or copying another person's characteristics, behaviors, or traits.


Mood Swings - Unpredictable, rapid, dramatic emotional cycles which cannot be readily explained by changes in external circumstances.


Munchausen's and Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome - A disorder in which an individual repeatedly fakes or exaggerates medical symptoms to manipulate the attentions of medical professionals or caregivers.


Name-Calling - Use of profane, derogatory, or dehumanizing terminology to describe another individual or group.


Neglect - A passive form of abuse in which the physical or emotional needs of a dependent are disregarded or ignored by the person responsible for them.


"Not My Fault" Syndrome - The practice of avoiding personal responsibility for one's own words and actions.


Objectification - The practice of treating a person or a group of people like an object.


Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior - An inflexible adherence to arbitrary rules and systems, or an illogical adherence to cleanliness and orderly structure.


Panic Attacks - Short intense episodes of fear or anxiety, often accompanied by physical symptoms, such as hyperventilating, shaking, sweating and chills.


Parentification - A form of role reversal, in which a child is inappropriately given the role of meeting the emotional or physical needs of the parent or of the family’s other children.


Passive-Aggressive Behavior - Expressing negative feelings in an unassertive, passive way.


Pathological Lying - Persistent deception by an individual to serve their own interests and needs with little or no regard to the needs and concerns of others. A pathological liar is a person who habitually lies to serve their own needs.


Projection - The act of attributing one's own feelings or traits to another person and imagining or believing that the other person has those same feelings or traits.


Push-Pull - A chronic pattern of sabotaging and re-establishing closeness in a relationship without appropriate cause or reason.


Raging, Violence and Impulsive Aggression - Explosive verbal, physical or emotional elevations of a dispute. Rages threaten the security or safety of another individual and violate their personal boundaries.


Relationship Hyper Vigilance - Maintaining an unhealthy level of interest in the behaviors, comments, thoughts, and interests of others.


Riding the Emotional Elevator - Taking a fast track to different levels of emotional maturity.


Sabotage - The spontaneous disruption of calm or status quo in order to serve a personal interest, provoke a conflict or draw attention.


Selective Memory and Selective Amnesia - The use of memory, or a lack of memory, which is selective to the point of reinforcing a bias, belief, or desired outcome.


Selective Competence - Demonstrating different levels of intelligence, memory, resourcefulness, strength, or competence depending on the situation or environment.


Self-Harm - Any form of deliberate, premeditated injury, such as cutting, poisoning, or overdosing, inflicted on oneself.


Self-Loathing - An extreme hatred of one's own self, actions or one's ethnic or demographic background.


Self-Victimization - Casting oneself in the role of a victim.


Sense of Entitlement - An unrealistic, unmerited, or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others.


Shaming - The difference between blaming and shaming is that in blaming someone tells you that you did something bad, in shaming someone tells you that you are something bad.


Silent Treatment - A passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence.


Splitting - The practice of regarding people and situations as either completely "good" or completely "bad".


Stalking - Any pervasive and unwelcome pattern of pursuing contact with another individual.


Stunted Emotional Growth - A difficulty, reluctance, or inability to learn from mistakes, work on self-improvement or develop more effective coping strategies.


Testing - Repeatedly forcing another individual to demonstrate or prove their love or commitment to a relationship.


Threats - Inappropriate, intentional warnings of destructive actions or consequences.


Triangulation - Gaining an advantage over perceived rivals by manipulating them into conflicts with each other.


Triggering -Small, insignificant, or minor actions, statements or events that produce a dramatic or inappropriate response.


Tunnel Vision - The habit or tendency to only see or focus on a single priority while neglecting or ignoring other important priorities.


Verbal Abuse - Any kind of repeated pattern of inappropriate, derogatory or threatening speech directed at one individual by another.



Source: Out of the Fog, Top Traits & Behaviors OF PERSONALITY-DISORDERED INDIVIDUALS